Southern Soul Quest: Reflections on Battlefields

Introduction

My whole trip centered on “finding” myself and visiting all the Civil War sites I could. I’ve been fascinated by the Civil War since I was confined to the library in elementary school. After multiple in-school suspensions, the principal realized that if she kept the crazy kid in a cage, he wouldn’t do anything stupid at recess. Oh, and let’s show this kid a Civil War reenactor (cheers, Michael!) That’ll keep him outta trouble. Mission accomplished!

By the time I took my trip, I had been in the hobby for over ten years. That’s a fraction compared to many, but I didn’t join until I was in college. I’m looking forward to thirty more years (at least!). I thought that visiting more battlefields, monuments, and museums would satisfy my craving for knowledge. I had been to Gettysburg at least six times, Antietam thrice, and New Market once. So my goal was to hit a bunch more.

The Civil War represents a time in American history when we were split not just on the question of slavery or states’ rights, but on the future of the nation. We found ourselves fighting not just fellow countrymen, but neighbors and family members. Abraham Lincoln’s own brother-in-law was a Confederate general killed at Chickamauga. I wonder how that conversation went with Mary Todd.

My passion for the Civil War is focused on the people. And it’s not just the Civil War; I’m interested in people from a lot of time periods. And it simply stems from my desire to take them out of the textbook and learn who they were as a person. That’s not always easy or possible, but I try. Interestingly, these historical figures (and even the thousands who lie buried in “Unknown” graves) were just people like you and me.

I’d like to start building a reenacting persona not focused on war – on death. I’ll admit, I’m interested in the tactics, the weapons, and the movements of battle, but I still don’t understand why. That’s something to dig into, eh? Maybe in a past life I was a soldier. I’m drawn to these battlefields. So I set out on this trip to see some.

Sites visited: Fredericksburg, Spotsylvania, Chancellorsville, Appomattox, and Petersburg

Discovering Overwhelming Realities

Fredericksburg

The first battlefield I visited was Fredericksburg. In December 1862, Ambrose Burnside had a pretty solid plan to attack the area. A delay in pontoon bridges and maybe a little stubbornness on his part caused a massacre at the base of Maryes Heights, while a near Union success elsewhere almost turned the tide of battle- almost.

I didn’t have high hopes for Fredericksburg. For years, I had heard how developed the area was and that there wasn’t much of a battlefield left. Well! The area in front of Maryes Heights where the Union brigades attacked one at a time is a neighborhood now. There’s a whole other part of the battlefield to see. While the Union was decimated in front of Fredericksburg, to the South, there was a taste of victory. And there are miles of preserved positions. You can see trench lines from Early’s boys, Lee’s headquarters, and lots of walking trails. I got out of my car on Howison Hill and didn’t realize the walking path would bring me so far. I had to hike back after what felt like hours but was likely just an hour or so.

Fredericksburg was a delightful surprise. I only mean that because I was shocked at how much there was to see and do. Not a delightful surprise at the carnage that had occurred 161 years prior. What did surprise me at Fredericksburg was a mother and her two kids – one in a carriage and one walking. They walked all over the Sunken Road, the kids sitting happily where thousands of Confederates were shooting as quick as they could at the droves of Yankees. The mother and her kids either didn’t consider what took place or didn’t care. I’m not sure of another possibility (there were signs “Do NOT sit or stand on this ground”).

Fredericksburg wasn’t the only place I saw people walk these places without pausing to think about the significance. Spotsylvania has walking trails where a good portion of folks were jogging. They’d run around the Mule Shoe and towards the Bloody Angle. For me, I struggled with understanding how these sacred sites could be visited without more consideration. And I don’t mean that negatively towards anyone (cheers to staying in health), well, maybe a little bit to the mom and her kids not paying attention to conservation signs.

Spotsylvania

Spotsylvania was the second site I visited and it was one of the most fascinating to me. However, it was also one that really settled in me the kind of horror experienced during the conflict. Already, by the time I had walked through the fields, woods, and paths, I was done with Civil War battlefields.

The tough part of Spotsylvania is there are more woods than there were at the time of the battle. It’s not the only battlefield with this problem. This is one thing that makes the battlefield tricky to understand. It would be nice to have such fields brought back to how they would have appeared at the time of battle, much like the work done on Little Round Top in Gettysburg. But, I like trees, so it would be hard to cut down so many unless they were planted elsewhere. It would be a large undertaking, even more than Little Round Top. Also, I appreciated the shade.

Still! Spotsylvania was amazing regarding its size and ability to tell a story. Driving along, getting out, and exploring the markers and trails made this a great spot. Again, though, it also hit me hard. I felt a heavy and sad energy that followed me back to my campground at the Fredericksburg KOA.

But I couldn’t stop at just two battlefields! I was so close to another. But I barely touched Chancellorsville. I tried to visit it briefly after Spotsylvania, but I was so drained by then. All I saw was where Jackson got wounded and the visitor center. Driving around along the park and public roads was confusing.

Appomattox

If there’s one place that felt the most peaceful, it was Appomattox. I learned here that the area was left abandoned and was in terrible disrepair until the 1920s or so. The McLean House had been taken down and plans were made to bring it to a museum. That didn’t happen. Later, it was rebuilt with just a few original bricks. Still, I enjoyed the recreated buildings and walking the area.

I had one particular encounter with an older gentleman. I simply said, “Good morning, sir.” And he said nothing. Not even a grunt or a nod. Either he didn’t hear me or he was upset. Otherwise, I walked to where Joshua Chamberlain saluted the surrendering Confederates and stood there awhile picturing the column of solemn troops marching past.

Yes, Appomattox felt of sadness, but it was mostly relief. You can imagine Grant and Lee stepping onto the porch after signing the papers and going to their respective staff. They’d mount their horses, perhaps giving one last look at each other, one more nod of respect. Both had fought for four years; both were tired of death and pain and suffering. There would be more of that to come during reconstruction, but for now, the war was over. I can imagine that and it felt nice.

Petersburg

This was the one battlefield that I ended up walking with someone else. I came to discover where the 1st Maine Heavy Artillery made their lone assault on Confederate lines, Joshua Chamberlain’s wounding, the Battle of the Crater, and the remaining lines of entrenchment. I bought A Campaign of Giants: The Battle for Petersburg Volume One by A. Wilson Greene. It’s an incredibly detailed book with maps that I enjoyed reading on the rest of my trip.

The park rangers were super helpful in finding the potential wounding of Joshua Chamberlain that nearly killed him (it eventually did, but not until 1914). Using several books that referenced the attack he was involved in, period maps, and the National Park Service map, we discovered a potential location: the nearby 7Up gas station. Of all places, Chamberlain nearly died at the gas station! And there’s not even a marker. Maybe all the half-dead druggies are the marker.

Petersburg was the last major battlefield I visited on this trip. But I did so with a stranger. It started like this:

“Hey, man. I like your beard.”

“Thanks. You have a nice one as well.”

I suppose I should have seen where things would lead. When the day ended, I joked that I didn’t have any money. Koda said I could “pay in other ways…” Yeah….no thanks.

Petersburg is a large park, as it should be. The siege of Petersburg lasted over nine months. It could have ended earlier than that many times, but that’s a story best told by Mr. Greene. A road leads from Confederate Battery #5 down to the Crater. There are numerous walking trails and a military base nearby (so caution how far you walk). Don’t forget about City Point as a stop. That was Grant’s headquarters and THE major supply point for the Union Army during the siege. If you’re super nice to the ranger, they may give you a tour of Grant’s cabin he stayed in.

Koda’s company was nice. I’m not sure I would have honestly seen the entire park if it was just me. I was fascinated by Petersburg and the new type of warfare that transformed here, but I was tired of battlefields at this point. Koda and I talked about life a bit. I talked about my trip and my former partner. He talked about his dating life and the blind date he had that day (which he ended up canceling). So it was nice to have some human connection while walking where thousands of men sniped at each other for 3/4 of a year.

Finding Comfort in Companionship

After Petersburg, I continued my road trip with few Civil War stops. I tried visiting the C.S.S Hunley – it was closed on a Monday. I walked briefly through a tiny park that had been the site of a skirmish in South Carolina, but the mosquitos forced me to retreat. And that’s it. The remainder of my trip I focused on other things.

I am still interested in the Civil War. However, I know now that I prefer visiting battlefields with like minded folks. Whenever I visit Gettysburg or another battlefield with my 3rd Maine friends, we learn and appreciate. We crossed Burnside’s Bridge in a column of fours. That was a great experience to understand how the Confederates could hold back an entire Union corps with just five hundred men. We’ve discussed the difficulties our unit had during the Battle of Gettysburg.

It’s these moments of sharing that I am grateful for. As a group, we share a collective interest in the period. We are all subject experts, some more than others, but we appreciate it as a whole. Alone, I feel overwhelmed by the great destruction. I think its difficult for me to make sense of it all. I don’t understand what drives men to cross an open field with 150 cannons firing shells at them. One thing I can understand is how things escalated so much that it felt right to fight. But I can’t imagine that today. There’s no need for it. I’ll continue to visit and explore Civil War sites, but for the majority of them, I’d like to have some company in people who appreciate it as I do.

Conclusion: A Journey of Self-Discovery

The purpose of my trip shifted throughout. I brought all my camera gear and my drone intending to make a great big documentary on finding oneself through Civil War battlefields. I never touched my camera equipment except to get it out of the way. All of the battlefields I visited taught me a lot. And not just about which regiments fought here or how the terrain influenced the engagements. I learned how communities can move on after a battle. I learned how people can integrate parks into their days (I guess running through a battlefield isn’t the worst thing you can do). And I learned that one of the best ways for me to learn is with my friends.