On Percocet

Yesterday, I felt the worst pain in my life after waking up from ACL surgery. The anesthesiologist said they put a nerve block in “to reduce the pain by 80%.” I call bullshit. I cried. I moaned and I swore. I wondered if the pain was similar to getting shot, and I understood why men might cry out on the battlefield. I could have starred as a wounded extra in Gettysburg or The Thin Red Line. Sleep was difficult. Turns out, I love rolling on my side—hard to do in a recliner.

Today is better. The pain is tolerable. No longer an 11 out of 10, but perhaps a 4. The worst of it is getting in or out of my dad’s recliner. But the bathroom breaks are nice, as my leg feels much better in the standing position. After writing this, I did attend another meeting with the toilet. There was little pain in the standing and sitting down junctures. The soreness is growing, but the strong incidents of pain subside.

I wasn’t anxious or nervous for surgery, but I was sad that it had to happen. One good bit of news is that only my ACL was torn and the meniscus is fine. However, that’s three weeks off my feet and six months of physical therapy. I’m sad at all of the events I’ll miss like reenactments and two of my cousins’ graduations. On the other hand, there will be added opportunities to write or read. Imagine all the time on my ass! I mean, on my hands. One downfall will be all the pent up energy I have. I’ll have to find a way to expend it.

The blog post is a bit weak today. I was swamped this weekend during Reggae Fest at Sugarloaf. Okay—I didn’t go to the festival proper, but my Dorm Family and I definitely celebrated in our own way. Games, edibles, drinks… you get the idea. We were very busy not writing. I did record a podcast with Joel, though, so that’s something.

Here I am on a Wednesday morning feeling the effects of Percocet and lack of sleep. The ice machine hisses like a tire inflator, then sighs. Ten seconds of quiet, then it kicks back in again. I need to post something—anything. This blog keeps me accountable. Even in the messy, scattered days… as long as I keep writing, I’m doing the work.

I’m gonna nap now.