Spending Time Alone in Your Own Company

This essay’s foundation was a voice memo dictated on a five-mile walk. Green pines and firs. A quiet blue sky. Textured white from the birches or a cloud. The exertion in my feet midway through the walk.

We live within ourselves throughout life. Be grateful for our bodies and minds, and use our faculties until we’re unable. Consider all of the elements needed to join together so that we came to be. Passing time alone is an excellent way to better understand who we are, what we like, and how we think. We must appreciate the incredible gift of life that the universe provides us. Being able to exist solely for yourself is an excellent sign of health. 

Seneca

Seneca often wrote about depth over breadth. In a series of letters to his friend, he offered both advice and feedback. Read one book rather than several. Stay in one place instead of traveling. One thing that he wrote which stands out is, “Nothing, to my way of thinking, is a better proof of a well-ordered mind than a man’s ability to stop just where he is and pass some time in his own company.”

Sometimes, we get downheartened. We become harsh self-critics. A tough day in the classroom, where students struggle or ignore most of what I have to say, makes me question my qualifications to educate. Taking time to relax in a society built on productivity feels like a waste of time.

Spending time in one’s own company does not necessarily mean boredom, though it’s recommended to do that on occasion. There’s no better tool for getting inside your head. Some recommend staring at a wall, but any screen-free subject works. When you feel the desire to retrieve your phone, that’s when you must power through the urge. Find some depth inside you to study. 

How to Spend Time Alone

One of the simplest and most entertaining options is walking. Walking allows you the opportunity — ideally in nature — to observe the world and how it interacts with itself. A walk does not require a destination or a consistent rate of speed. Feel free to stop and inspect the tendrils of moss, the lines in sedimentary rocks, and the abundance of color. Ponder how humans have followed a similar path and try to ascertain what they may have been thinking a thousand years ago. Actually, this activity might best be defined as wandering. No destinations. Explore the world and see what it makes you think of.

Writing is another technique for self-exploration. Attempts to convey information and emotion mean that each word amounts to something special. There’s a certain connection that writing by hand provides. Outlines are fine, but free writing allows the brain to dump fresh thoughts onto the page. After, you can examine each idea on a factory belt, deciding which ones are worth additional input. Journaling often leads to worthy thought processes, but not everything should be published. That’s the point of spending time alone; you keep it to yourself sometimes. Let others explore their ownness as well.

Reading promotes reflection. Fiction. Nonfiction. They both invite analysis. How do these words make you feel? Why? Does the character feel relatable? Why? Notice the repetition here: why. Asking this question for just about everything under the sun (and beyond) is how you define yourself. Read. Think. Write your thoughts. Repeat.

A Fear

Our brains are capable of so much. And we should use them as much as we are able until we can’t. One of my biggest fears is getting dementia or Alzheimers. Losing the memory of who I am and the people I care about scares me more than death. In my hedge against memory loss, I create videos. When I’m older, I’ll use them as memory checks, or at least be entertained by them. 

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