Brain Fog

This piece is on brain fog. It may be messy, which only illustrates brain fog further. I currently have brain fog. If you don’t know, brain fog is a haze hovering over thoughts, memories, and conversations. The brain fog has been influencing my functioning quite a bit. We’ll see how I write this post…or if I remember to post it. 

To me, brain fog is the heavy mist that hides rocky coast lines from the ship of thoughts. I was trying to give a student particular directions earlier today and my thoughts crashed onto a reef, ripping the hull wide open. My thoughts were drowned and I found myself silently screaming while the poor kid stared at me in confusion. Thirty seconds passed before I could configure myself and say half of what I intended to. 

I walked into my bedroom this afternoon for a purpose I had lost. I found that by literally taking four steps back into the living room I could recall my reasoning: a nap. I have strep. The doctor said most people develop immunity as kids. I sure had it plenty. The doc is finding more adults getting strep this year especially. The worst part of strep is the difficulty swallowing. It’s not quite as painful as getting kicked in the balls, but it makes me wince. I prefer spitting out the saliva so I don’t have to wince through it. The second worst part aren’t the aches or chills; it’s the brain fog. 

Even now, at 9:20pm, I have paused writing this simply because I zoned out, thoughts floating past. They seem to be in a slow motion race, each one passing another, trading places. No one wins in this race. And I’m a viewer far away, squinting to see just a little better. 

Thankfully, bedtime is approaching. I’d be in bed already if I didn’t have dorm duty. I hope I remember what I’m doing when I get up to the apartment. Reminders: brush teeth and change. Easy enough! Even brain fog can’t stop that!