Solo Travel: Loneliness and Freedom

Intro

“Solo travel” is popular these days. It seems like 90% of TikTok and Instagram include solo travelers and their activities. There are tons of posts, videos, and images out there showcasing the excitement of traveling on your own. Indeed, solo travel provides plenty of excitement, but there are a lot of lonely or scary moments too. So here are a challenge and a benefit of solo traveling.

Background

I should mention that over the past several months, I’ve taken a road trip to explore the southern United States and I recently returned from a three-month voyage in Europe. I am not a travel expert. I did, however, always want to travel. So I made time for it. Traveling is more complicated with families, work, and lack of funds. My ability to travel hinged on having my own business as well as the sale of my house. I had just left a serious relationship and time was on my side. So I went!

A Challenge of Solo Travel: Loneliness

“The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself.”

Michel de Montaigne

Solo travel, I should say, is not for everyone. As I mentioned, it gets lonely. You can surround yourself with people at a hostel and still feel like no one is near. Especially if you jump time zones, your connection to friends and family back home will stretch. Tips for loneliness:

• Treat yoself
  If your wallet can handle it, go out to eat or visit that tourist trap (if you’re into those). Looking for cheaper options? See “Take a walk”
• Sit with it
  My former partner (calling her my “ex” sounds aggressive and I still care about her) was trying to teach me this one. Honestly, it’s difficult for me. I can’t sit still for more than eight seconds. But this tip boils down to sitting (or standing) on your own and mulling over why you feel lonely. It boils down to being comfortable with yourself. And I’m not always great at this one, but I’ve tried. I’ll put everything away and sit on a couch or the bed. And I’ll take in my surroundings – the smells and sounds. Then I just think about where I am at in life. I am grateful for the things I can do. And I take a moment to just be silent. It’s essentially a miniature meditation – great for people who need to move around.
• Write/talk to yourself
  This is a favorite of mine. During my trips, I journaled often. Generally, I’d write my activities, who I met, and what I was grateful for. So…a diary. However, I also tasked myself to dive deeper. Why did I do certain things? What drove me to interact with people? What emotions did I feel during the day? Why? That’s the biggest, toughest, and strongest question: why?
• Call/text folks back home
  When you really need to talk to someone, do it. We are social creatures. Sure, we need alone time too, but we are social creatures. Thanks to all the people who reached out to me on my ventures.
• Take a walk
  In Paris (or anywhere for that matter), I’d slip on my shoes, check I had the key, and just walk. Often, I’d intentionally make turns this way and that way to get lost. It was only when my legs got tired or I felt I had enough that I’d pull up the maps and make my way home. Walking solves a lot. Not world hunger, but other things.
• Watch a favorite show
  “Brooklyn Nine-Nine,” “Ozarks,” and “Shameless” were my go-to shows. I think I watched a few seasons of “Brooklyn Nine-Nine” during a particularly lonely period in France. That’s not to say I didn’t explore and do fun shit, but I spent some time watching that hilarious show. Thanks, Jake Peralta!

A Benefit of Solo Travel: Independence

Loneliness is only natural during your travels. But one of my favorite things about solo travel is freedom! Freedom to make decisions about where to go and what to do. And let me say one thing in particular: there are no wrong answers with your decisions. I felt, at times, that what I was doing on my trip wasn’t enough. I really wanted to see Eastern Europe, but that didn’t end up happening. You and I need to accept that what we do is enough and also amazing! I mean, just getting to see the world is more than most can and it’s something to appreciate.

What I like to do during solo travel is have alternating days – one day of planned activities (whatever you choose) and one day of going with the flow. I know this section is all about freedom, but I really would recommend giving yourself planned and unplanned days. Give yourself some recharge time so you can truly take advantage of your adventure days.

Making Decisions

The most important thing you do during travel is to make decisions. And that’s a challenge for me. I’ve struggled with being decisive. I like to go with whatever anyone else wants. But I’m learning to just make a choice and see if it pans out. During my trip, I only had myself to debate with. That made it pretty easy. Did I want to walk around, get lost, and find a random place to eat? Was I ready to visit a museum and challenge myself to translate the signs? Could I make a new friend and do something with them?

In Italy (and Lyon, France, too), I wandered the streets to see the ruins of ancient Rome. I made the decision to see as many ruins as I could before I got hungry. Could I have done a couple of museums instead? Sure. But I wanted to see the ruins as they were. No wrong answers.

These were the days of flexibility. In Rome, I’d wander to the Teatro di Marcello and get distracted by a random gelato shop. The gelato would lead to more wandering and perhaps my third espresso of the day. I’d eventually end back at the Airbnb and decide that Scholars Lounge was my destination for the evening. Supper was a choice between pizza or pasta. Easy choice there: you get both!

My travel style revolves around being spontaneous and flexible. Other people, like my brother, prefer having a plan. When we got off the train in Florence, my plan was to just walk down a street, take a left or a right, and repeat. Will, my brother, was not a fan of this.

“You don’t have a list of places?” He asked.

“Nope.” My response.

We certainly got on each other’s nerves that day. And as an aside, I wasn’t solo traveling then, of course. I’m simply illustrating that travel styles differ. Try being spontaneous one day and making plans the next. Which day do you like better?

Is it for you?

Solo traveling is a really neat endeavor. But not everyone likes it. Before you jump into a sabbatical abroad, take a weekend trip by yourself. Practice packing what you need, picking a place to go, and going. Give yourself a Saturday of plans and an unplanned Sunday (except going back home before work). You may find that this trip recharges your batteries. Or it may drain you.

The point is that you should experiment with solo travel. If you like it, awesome. And if you don’t, take a friend with you. Like I said: we’re social creatures. I’ll have a few more thoughts on solo travel soon. Cheers!